we're blogging at a bar
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
