still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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