That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
