i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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