i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
