yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
