Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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