dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
