I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
