I think I died a long time ago.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
