you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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