Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
