Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
