Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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