I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
