yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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