I'm going to jail i love you
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My pussy is not your playground.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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