i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
