You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
