so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
