problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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