He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize