dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
