So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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