He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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