i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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