Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
