He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
