Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
