If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize