i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
