why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
