i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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