A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
