We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
