I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
