i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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