that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
