I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
