the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
