your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
