lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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