but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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