Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
