I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
