Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize