There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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