remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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