dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
