I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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