i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize