Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
