she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize