I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
