I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
