I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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