Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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