You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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