she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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