Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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