absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just pee around me
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
