He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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