He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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