Non-Jews are for practice
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
