i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
3 2 1 whiskey
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
