do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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