My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize