the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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