I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize