the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
