Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
