Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
