Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize