Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
