Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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