I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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